How quick I was to blow up over even the slightest offense....against me. Do you think I'm some fool! How dare you try to make me understand how it happened again.....to me? I have run out of mercy and patience with this situation. Too many offenses....against me. You've seen the last of my smile, the last of my warm eyes. You have one, too many, times done this thing....against me. Love doesn't live here anymore. A heart turned cold all because there were too many offenses.....against me.
An image of what I despised stared back at me. It was easy to judge an offense when it was done....against me. But now I had become loathsome to myself looking to Jesus on the mercy seat....once again. I had several times done what I said I would do no more. Nevertheless, here I am again confusing grace with a free ride to sin. How could I have become the person I was so harsh on before? Charge after charge, piled up....I had become a repeat offender. Strange thing is, I never heard one of the accusations I had relentlessly charged others with. Instead of a blow up, I received a comforting whisper. When I tried to explain, He already knew. Expecting to be turned away....surely He had run out of mercy and patience with me. He grabbed me and assured me the matter had been settled. He said, "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (Isaiah 1:18, NLT) I thought surely this is it. No one can love me in the state I'm in. I had let Him down too many times. But the warmth and love I never thought I'd feel again embraced me.
God IS Love! And it shines brightest in our lives when we least deserve it. God is not like man that He would take His love away because we have repeatedly sinned against Him. No, he continues to wash us (after our repenting), and loving us evermore keeping no record of our wrongdoings. I don't care what you've done or how often you've done it, God desires that you be made whole IN HIM. "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:1-2, NIV) The law said we deserved death for our sins, but Jesus came in the fullness of time giving His life as payment for the debt we owed. He wants us to be free; otherwise, He would have died in vain. Receive God's healing, His correction, and His love. GET UP....and try it again. Remember what it felt like when it was "against me (you)". One death on the cross covered our many repeated offenses, and IN LOVE we were connected back to God. Today, though you may very well be that repeat offender, you still have the option to offer up with a sincere heart true repentance to God. He's not like me, he's not like you. He won't turn his back, but stands ready to forgive desiring that all would come to repentance. Once you do, your record has been expunged... Thank God for His grace and mercy :)
Be blessed...
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