One Decision Away

Waiting is not an easy thing to do.  
I don't want to wait in a long line.  
I don't want to wait in a queue when calling a company.  
I don't want to wait on good news/bad news.  
I don't want to wait for someone to call me back.
I don't want to wait to hear if I got the job.
I don't want to wait on the microwave to ding.
I don't want to wait on the car in front of me to speed up on the interstate.
I don't want to wait my turn....

While there are some things that I have control over when it comes to my wait period, there are some circumstances where I simply have to wait.  The wait is a part of a larger process, a larger work that is happening in me....yes, I get that, but that doesn't stop me from quitting (in my  mind) about 1-3 times a quarter.  Perhaps it's because I feel that it's so far-fetched.  Perhaps I'm not 100% sure of what I'm waiting on.  Perhaps it's because I'm just tired of waiting.  I can't give an exact answer on why I shut down and quit (in my mind) throughout this waiting period.  When I'm consumed in my thoughts, I have battles in my mind....it's like my flesh battling against my spirit.  My flesh says quit/give up/throw in the towel/move on, but my spirit hears 'wait on God'.  Agh!  It's frustrating!  I've asked God and even pleaded with Him to do things a different way....as if I know life better than He does.  One thing I am sure of is this - As consistent as I am with wanting to give up, God is that much more consistent with not allowing me to.  Each and every time that I've told God, "I can't do this", He sends me a Word that strengthens me in that exact moment, and the Word is consistently the same..."wait on Me, Tasha".  "Ok, great, God!  You won't even let me quit!"  Those are my sarcastic thoughts and conversations with God as I come back to myself.

Every day, I am one decision away from either making God proud that I've passed the test or making a complete mess of my life.....just one decision.

Lastly, as I was having "one of my moments" recently and engaged in an all-out war in my mind, I told myself how ridiculous and impossible it was.  I told myself I could do my life my way.  At that moment, I had again quit.  I wanted to pick up the phone and call my pastor to vent about my frustrations.  But as the war went on, God began to speak louder than my flesh.  I swallowed the lump in my throat as the tears streamed down my face.  Through all of this, God gave me this word...

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Well, I suppose that pretty much sums it up.  My truth is that I dislike waiting; however, the bigger truth is that waiting is beneficial to me.  Even now as I type the words of this post, I am trembling in such a deep reverential fear of God as I know He is ingraining this Word into my spirit.  The next time you are in a battle (flesh against spirit) over a Word God gave you, please remember - you are one decision away from reaching your destiny or reaching your downfall.  If you let Him, God will carry you through.  YOUR strength may leave you, but God says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew THEIR strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31).

-Tash 
#Word #BeFabulouslyBlessed

Keeping it 100

One of the hardest things the people of God find themselves faced with is letting someone see the real them.  The "them" behind closed doors, after the worship service is over.  The "them" that has REAL LIFE issues just like the person on the outside of the four walls of the church....and well, many times like the ones sitting next to them on Sunday morning.

What if that young girl knew you struggled with fornication more than you'd like to admit to when you were her age (and um, let's be real....after as well)?  What if that young guy knew that your pants weren't always sitting nicely around your waist....instead they were beneath your tail too?  What if we could just keep it real, and let the folks know "I ain't always been saved!"?  Who might we save from a path of destruction if we just KEPT IT REAL?  We ALL still have our secret struggles.  It may not be obvious or public knowledge....  It may not be drugs, sex, or drinking, but we come with a closet of skeletons all our on.  Come on now, transparency among the believers is lacking, and we all know why.  

"I work too hard to put this poker face on.  No way am I telling you who I really am, how I really hurt.....my struggles".  

For fear of judgment, we keep quiet as Satan seeks to nullify the work that God has done in us.  Listen, what we have to remember is that the things God allows us to go through in our lives has ALL been for our good and His glory, but it has also been for someone else.  Who are we to sit on it and not use the mess as a message?  It's too much work to pretend and try to appear as if everything is together....all neatly tucked, folded properly, crisp, dotted, and crossed, when in reality you're one more 'unperfect' thing away from your life completely falling apart.  Now, don't misunderstand....there are things you go through in private and allow God to work it out on your behalf, whatever that means to you.  People want to see you delivered before you come testifying to them about something you either are still in or haven't been through at all.  I'm not promoting telling all your business to folks who are going to take what you say and use it against you.  My reference is to what Jesus said to Simon (Peter) in Luke 22:32...

"But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers."

"When you have repented and turned to me again"....that's key.  When you come out of it, whatever IT is.  When you've asked for forgiveness (and repented - that's two separate things), and TURNED away from whatever had you bound, THEN you go out and strengthen your brothers/sisters.  Does that sound like you're keeping what God did for you to yourself?  It's so ironic that God is really dealing with me on this today, and it just hit me that my Pastor preached from Luke 22:32 on this past Sunday.  

Look at this.  I looked up the definition of "transparent" so that I can see exactly what the dictionary notes about transparency.

trans·par·ent

adjective

1. (of a material or article) allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen.

   "transparent blue water"

   synonyms:

   clear, crystal clear, see-through, translucent, pellucid, limpid, glassy,vitreous

This made me yell out - "allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen".  My God!  Do you see this?  Who is the Light of the world?  JESUS is that Light.  The Light shines through you, and those things that we've tried to keep hidden are not hidden from God.  He sees us inside and out.  He KNOWS who you are!  So, we most definitely must first come transparent before Him.  Then once He cleans us up and makes us into a vessel He can use, our job is to use those "objects behind" that we didn't want anyone to see to minister to the people God sends you to.  I have to be totally honest, while I'm not the one to pretend that my life is perfect....I'll surely tell you I AM NOT PERFECT AND I HAVE STRUGGLES JUST LIKE YOU, there are some things that I find really hard to share about myself or things that I've been through and/or am going through.  BUT, when I put things into perspective, and heed the voice of the Lord, I'm reminded that I'm a servant working for the Lord.  My life is not my own.  I belong to God, so I've got to come out of "self", and be obedient to the work He has called me to.  Sometimes that may mean I'll be uncomfortable.  Well, God did not call us to be "comfortable", He called us to be game changers, and in order to do so, that little box we put ourselves in.....yea, that won't work.

Be fabulously blessed :)
-Tash