One Decision Away

Waiting is not an easy thing to do.  
I don't want to wait in a long line.  
I don't want to wait in a queue when calling a company.  
I don't want to wait on good news/bad news.  
I don't want to wait for someone to call me back.
I don't want to wait to hear if I got the job.
I don't want to wait on the microwave to ding.
I don't want to wait on the car in front of me to speed up on the interstate.
I don't want to wait my turn....

While there are some things that I have control over when it comes to my wait period, there are some circumstances where I simply have to wait.  The wait is a part of a larger process, a larger work that is happening in me....yes, I get that, but that doesn't stop me from quitting (in my  mind) about 1-3 times a quarter.  Perhaps it's because I feel that it's so far-fetched.  Perhaps I'm not 100% sure of what I'm waiting on.  Perhaps it's because I'm just tired of waiting.  I can't give an exact answer on why I shut down and quit (in my mind) throughout this waiting period.  When I'm consumed in my thoughts, I have battles in my mind....it's like my flesh battling against my spirit.  My flesh says quit/give up/throw in the towel/move on, but my spirit hears 'wait on God'.  Agh!  It's frustrating!  I've asked God and even pleaded with Him to do things a different way....as if I know life better than He does.  One thing I am sure of is this - As consistent as I am with wanting to give up, God is that much more consistent with not allowing me to.  Each and every time that I've told God, "I can't do this", He sends me a Word that strengthens me in that exact moment, and the Word is consistently the same..."wait on Me, Tasha".  "Ok, great, God!  You won't even let me quit!"  Those are my sarcastic thoughts and conversations with God as I come back to myself.

Every day, I am one decision away from either making God proud that I've passed the test or making a complete mess of my life.....just one decision.

Lastly, as I was having "one of my moments" recently and engaged in an all-out war in my mind, I told myself how ridiculous and impossible it was.  I told myself I could do my life my way.  At that moment, I had again quit.  I wanted to pick up the phone and call my pastor to vent about my frustrations.  But as the war went on, God began to speak louder than my flesh.  I swallowed the lump in my throat as the tears streamed down my face.  Through all of this, God gave me this word...

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Well, I suppose that pretty much sums it up.  My truth is that I dislike waiting; however, the bigger truth is that waiting is beneficial to me.  Even now as I type the words of this post, I am trembling in such a deep reverential fear of God as I know He is ingraining this Word into my spirit.  The next time you are in a battle (flesh against spirit) over a Word God gave you, please remember - you are one decision away from reaching your destiny or reaching your downfall.  If you let Him, God will carry you through.  YOUR strength may leave you, but God says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew THEIR strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31).

-Tash 
#Word #BeFabulouslyBlessed